Home Cooked Thoughts

I would like you all to meet our newest addition to the family … Charles Randall, or as we like to call him … Charlie!

God was kind enough to bless us with another little boy, someone for Benjamin to play with, terrorize, and hopefully befriend for life.  Poor Charlie, at only 12 days old, has already endured finger poking, bassinet shaking, shared lunch attempts, screaming fits throughout naps, and the constant stealing of his first stuffed animal.  He has also been treated to numerous hugs and occasional petting.

I had my worries and doubts about bringing a second child into this world … all due to my insane ability to over-think everything.  I thought that surely Benjamin would be jealous, so jealous in fact that he would hate us for bringing home another child.  I was convinced I hadn’t had enough time alone with Benjamin in this world and how could he possibly adjust to not having 100% of our time.  And my biggest fear was that I could never love another child the way I love Benjamin.

What an idiot I am!!  All of these things have proven to be hugely inaccurate.  Not a split second went by after the doctor removed Charlie from me before I was instantly sobbing – overwhelmed with love (and relief that it was a boy!).  I think I smothered his face with so many kisses before they whisked him away to the nursery – he was sure to know who mommy was.  And Benjamin … well, Ben took his time coming around, but once he did … he’s been a loving big brother who has not only watched out for little brother but also reassured Charlie that with all that love will come some torture as well.

And ironically, with all this extra love I’ve been pouring out to my two little boys, I have found myself loving my husband more than ever before (even with the hormonal imbalances).

I know this next year is going to be a difficult one, but it’s amazing how strong we can be when we have no other choice!  I am so grateful to be the only girl in the house, and in full wonderment at the capacity of love we humans have!  God is good!

This entry is for my sister who asked for this recipe after feeding this casserole to Benjamin one afternoon.  My only warning to those who try it is that I made up the recipe with things I had in my pantry & fridge … you may want to add more seasoning or different ingredients all together.

1 onion (I always use Vidalia)

1T olive oil

Frozen mixed veggies (medium sized bag)

1 c. shredded cheddar cheese

1 can cream of celery (always the Healthy Selects – less sodium)

1 can cream of mushroom (always the Healthy Selects – less sodium)

4 cups cooked chicken, cut very small

8oz bag of thick egg noodles, cooked

salt & pepper to taste

panco bread crumbs

13 x 9 baking dish

Saute the onion in olive oil and set aside when finished.  If you haven’t cooked your noodles, do it now.  Add chicken to onion and add both soups, shredded cheese, then mix well.  Once mixed, add the frozen veggies and mix.  Drain your noodles and carefully fold into the rest of the mixture.  Pour into lightly sprayed pan.  I always sprinkle noodle casseroles with panko bread crumbs because it keeps the noodles from hardening on the top.  Bake at 350 until warm & bubbly (about 30 – 45 minutes).

This casserole an be warmed in portions in the microwave but always cover with wrap when warming or it will dry out.

Love you Leandra!  Enjoy … and I have found that Benjamin devours this – even with the chicken in it, especially if I cut the chicken small enough.  The chicken I use is almost always the leftovers from when we eat a whole chicken.

So, I can no longer promise that I’ll be “back” and posting entries from now on, because I have obviously proven that it is not going to happen.  But, today I need to vent and I am sure it is due mostly to the raging hormones that have taken over my body as a result of this impending delivery of Kollasch Child #2.

Here’s the situation: I work in a church office that also houses a social ministry office that assists the needy (of any faith) from our community.  Today there is a certain client of theirs who has been up here repeatedly over the last year or two and today she has come with her children.  The office is not able to continue helping her and she is most unhappy about it and has chosen to yell and holler and rant & rave into her cell phone while her two children (a young girl carrying her infant baby brother) follow her around with blank faces.

Here’s why I need to vent: the children!  Why do this is front of your children?  I do understand needing help – most of us struggle and can sympathize with the panic of “how am I going to get through the day without …” but do we share that stress with our children and do we scream and act up if we don’t get what we want?  I wanted to take the kids under my arm and walk them away but they’re not mine and am I inappropriate to judge their mother for her behavior?

I left the office to get some food (an act I felt immediately guilty for) and cried in my car for the children.  I realize it’s my hormones getting the best of me, but what I’d really like to do is shake that dear woman and ask her why she’s behaving in such a manner in front of the two beings she should be protecting from the stress.  My family struggled when we were kids, truly struggled for many years, and I can honestly say that none of us stressed the family situation.  We knew we didn’t have things other kids did, but we didn’t realize it was because we couldn’t … we just figured it was because we didn’t need anything more.  And we didn’t.

Some may ask why we didn’t just help this woman, but there in a fine line between assistance and enabling.  I look forward to the day when I am comfortable with the state of my own mortgage and can walk up to someone who needs something and hand it to them.  For now, I will have to resort to crying and praying and venting to my beautiful husband who also had a hard afternoon.

I wish hormones resulted in laughter and comfort as opposed to the tears, stress, discomfort, hot flashes, and such … ho-hum.

Believe it or not – technical difficulties have prevented me from posting and then I got into the habit of not posting, and I feel strongly that this trend must end … TODAY!  It is time for you to all hear from me again!

For those of you unaware … Dave, Ben, and I are expecting a new addition to our family.  “Charlie” will be joining us in August and we are thrilled!  We don’t know yet if “Charlie” is a boy or girl and we won’t know until they take the little miracle from me, but who cares … we are praying for healthy and happy!

Life has been hectic for Dave and I as we both work many jobs and try to juggle time with Ben and a very occasional moment with one another.  So if any of you are wishing we had more time with you … so do we!  We’re just so appreciative that Benjamin seems unphased by the lack of two parents at home at once.  We thought for sure he would crumple to the floor in dismay, but he didn’t.  Oh well.

So, stay tuned.  I will be posting again and even including the occasional recipe to share.  I’d love if some of you wanted to share recipes as well … I can post them for you (and even give you the credit!).

The picture attached is of Ben watching a plane … he loves everything that happens in the sky!  So observant!

Ahh, the art of relaxation.  A cherished gift that many do not possess and for many many months I had convinced myself that my dear little boy would never achieve the calming effects of said gift.  And yet, here it is – proof that he does in fact take after me in at least one of his traits … the ability to “chill” with a friend, prop his feet up, and just lay back enjoying the luxury that is relaxation.

Benjamin David has turned 1.  I am both thrilled and saddened by this rite of passage.  There is the accomplished mommy in me who feels a strong sense of pride at having helped her little “punkin” grow to the walking, running, playing, “munchkin” status.  And then the mourning mommy who is befuddled over the quickness that overtook the growth process of this long anticipated little being.  My mother accused me of suffering delayed postpartum … she may have a point, but thankfully I am recovering quickly.

Having realized how quickly the first year flies, I am fearful of the next years also flying.  There are people who feel implored to share statements like, “Just wait, he’ll be graduating high school in no time.”  Really?! Is it absolutely necessary to burst the bubble of a woman who still considers herself a new mom?!  Must you rain on the parade of a woman who still refers to books to find the best daytime routines and meal plans?!  To force someone like me to consider which college would be best for my one year old is just downright heinous!  I have no internal desire to envision my barely speaking toddler escorting some floozy to the prom … I’m still ecstatic that he signed ‘please’ this morning.

Having fully expressed my distaste for such bubble-bursters, I would again like to impress my great appreciation for the short times when my “munchkin” stops, lays down, and cuddles with me … letting me know that the rest of the day may fly by, but he too appreciates the slow comfortable gift that is relaxation. 

Fridays have quickly become “Family Date Day” in our house since they are the only day that no one has to leave the house for work (most weeks).  So, we spend every minute together and usually do something fun, whether it’s the park or the zoo or just building a fire in the back yard.  Yesterday I had to work a couple of hours (which quickly turned into three hours) but we were determined to take Ben to a new park (new for us anyway).

When we were normally putting Ben in bed for an afternoon nap instead we loaded him in the car and prayed he’d fall asleep right away.  He did.  We drove through some neighborhoods for slow quiet tours (and to let the munchkin sleep a little longer) then headed into Green Cove Springs, the town adjacent to ours.  Spring Park is on the river with a spring run and some rolling hills (in most parts of the country they would be considered bumps, but here in Florida they are rolling hills!), a beautiful playground, a pier, picnic tables and gazebos … and it all sits directly across from the police station – so it’s safe too!

It was a gorgeous breezy day so we headed for the pier first.  Ben had never experienced anything like it and he would stop and stare at everything around him, then give out a delicious scream before he’d run into the wind further down the pier.  We were pawns to his delightful whims.  He stopped to stare at the fisherman (who kept calling him a beautiful little girl) and he followed another couple who were walking along the pier as well … even stopped to hold their hands and eventually get picked up by the woman (they were obvious grandparents and immediately smitten with him).

As we walked through the park to the playground we noticed another young family, a couple with their little girl, all dressed in denim with white shirts and getting their pictures taken … in the large gazebo that sits on the water’s edge there was a wedding about to happen – the bride was standing off to the side with her bridesmaid and flower girl having some pictures taken … there were children at the playground arguing with their mom over who could ride the swing next … and there were squirrels everywhere playing around the tree trunks in between their stockpiling efforts.  As we put Ben in the swing the wedding began … if it’s starting to sound a bit too surreal – I was thinking the same thing – but this is how it really was! 

The best part was after we had given Ben his dinner bottle and rolled around in the grass a bit we noticed the birds lining the pier (probably discussing their plans for the night) and we had the bright idea to let Ben walk down and check them out.  He loved it!  Ran as fast as he could with his arms in the air hoping to catch one or all of them!

We couldn’t have asked for a better day at the park!  Can’t wait to go back!

So, the other day my brother mentioned that my mom had been bragging to him about the blog I “used to write” and I realized it was about time to write an entry.  I need to release anyway … so for those of you looking for a light-hearted read – this will not be it.

Recently, in our little town of Orange Park, Florida, there has been a heinous crime against a little girl.   She was abducted while on her walk home from school and within hours had been treated cruelly, killed, and literally thrown into the trash.  She was found in a landfill a couple of days later.  For the two days she had been missing there were helicopters flying overhead, mounted policemen trotting through the neighborhoods and forests, dogs sniffing, and people blanketing the town with flyers showcasing this beautiful child.  Within seconds of receiving confirmation that the child in the landfill was indeed the missing child, the tone in the air changed … first there was incredible sorrow … then came the anger … the fear is continuing to linger … but almost immediately after the sorrow and anger came this wave of revenge from so many.

And this is where my problem begins.  (Many will strongly disagree with what I am about to say.)  While I feel strongly that this person, this very sick person, should be caught and severely punished I can’t bring myself to want his demise – I can’t crave his own death.  This is not to say that I haven’t thought – if that were my son who had been killed I would grab that man and beat him until I couldn’t any longer, and then I’d want my husband to beat him - I have thought that, but am I strange for knowing that I couldn’t actually do it and I even feel guilty for the thoughts?

Just because another human being has no respect for the life of a child – this girl, or even my son – this doesn’t give me the right to take their life, but it does make me responsible for teaching this person the better way to live or if the teaching is impossible then it is our responsibility to ensure that person can never again harm another.

I wonder if the people who are publicizing their desire for the demise of this killer; the ones writing “we’re coming to get you” on their vehicles, or the ones shaking their hands in the media and already itching to stick a needle in this killer’s arm … I wonder if they realize they are preying on this killer the same way in which he preyed on this little girl, but they’re doing it publicly.  People have a right to their pain, and people have a right to their grief, but do we have a right to prey on one another?  We are telling this killer that it was wrong of him to kill this child (and it was! so wrong!), but in the same sentence we are saying it is ok for us to kill him.  Am I the only one in the world to find fault with this logic?!

For those of you ready to lash out at me for being uncaring for this child … you have not listened to me, you have only read what you wanted from my words.

I have come to love that child as my own and I do not have any problem agreeing that the killer should be punished and stopped from ever hurting another, but is it really right for us to return wrong with wrong?

If you haven’t already noticed … there haven’t been many posts, if any at all, in some time … this would normally mean that I have been in a funk … this time, however, the funk belongs to my husband and my reasons fall between new job (i.e. lack of additional free time) and a strong obsession with spending as many waking hours with Benjamin as possible.

I have been cooking … a bit … so truthfully there are some recipes to share.  Be on the lookout for those … I’m feeling some inkling to write them down.

As for the funk … my hubby and I are battling some stressful things and one of us (I shall not mention who) tends to want the battle won and over with as quickly as possible and this particular battle is dragging on and on.  Truth be known, we both want the battle over … and we’re both working our tails off for that to happen, but it is still not showing signs of faltering and my dear David is showing the wear and tear of a long fight.

I am not attempting to sing my praises for not being worn out, but my new job has made me the unfortunate witness to many people who are far worse off and I have now become one grateful little lady.  I have a husband whom I adore and who adores me and our son.  We still have our parents and siblings (even if said siblings are perhaps destroying their own marriages and happy homes) and their beautiful children.  We are all healthy, give or take the sore muscles, runny noses, teething pains, and the occasional stubbed toe.  And for the time being, we have roofs over our heads.  In my opinion … God is good.  (For those critics out there … God is still good if we didn’t have all of the above, but I like to give credit where credit is due.)

All of this chatter was supposed to explain my lack of entries but I feel it went elsewhere.  I’m ok with that.  If you’re enjoying the picture attached it is my incredibly adorable one year old nephew, Aidan.  I included him on this post because he has this way of letting the whole world know when he is upset or disgruntled … his ear ringing screech … and I tend to think of him when I feel myself entering the world of “funk.”  If I could just screech like him I’m sure  I would feel better.  Maybe we should all channel our inner Aidan and screech away our funks!

I searched the internet for a yummy recipe for twice-baked potatoes and I came up with a medley of recipes to form the following.  My version is based primarily on what I had in the kitchen coupled with David & my particular preferences for potato pairings.  I also opted to keep one potato as one serving instead of cutting the potatoes in half for two servings … it should be noted that I used smaller potatoes as well.  They look so yummy, don’t they?!

You will need:

2 baking potatoes – size matters only when considering your serving size … as you can see from the picture, the potatoes I chose were smaller (pictured on a tea plate)

olive oil

kosher salt

1/4 – 1/2 c. sour cream

1/2 – 1 c. shredded cheese (I used colby jack because it was in my firdge, but this would be awesome with cheddar!) – reserving some for topping

1/2 t. garlic powder

salt & pepper

bacon – 4 slices, cooked & crumbled

chives (I didn’t have any but I wish I had!)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Rub potatoes with oil and sprinkle with salt.  Bake for 1 hour.

Allow potatoes to cool enough to handle, cut 1 inch slit the length of top of potato and remove pulp into small mixing bowl.  Leave enough of the pulp intact to support the potato … you don’t want a floppy potato that will fall over in the oven, or on the plate.

Mix pulp, sour cream, shredded cheese, bacon (reserving some for topping), and seasonings until well blended.  Scoop mixture into potatoes … it’ll mound up over the potato … that’s a good thing.  Now top with the rest of all the yummy stuff.  These can either sit until your other dinner items are ready or they can go right in the oven now.

Bake for 15 – 20 minutes at 350, or until heated through.  Enjoy!

My sister just asked me for my chili recipe because her husband, “likes beef and beans,” so instead of writing it in an email I figured I would share it with the world.  Thanks for the inspiration Leandra!

I should admit that the base of this recipe comes from my trusty Southern Living cookbook – my go-to reference guide, but I have added some items as well as increased the cooking time … enjoy!

4 stalks celery, chopped

3 green onions, chopped

2 – 4 cloves garlic, minced (I love garlic!  So my chili always gets at least 4 cloves!)

1 large onion, chopped (I always tend to gravitate towards Vidalia onions – I prefer a sweeter onion.)

1 green pepper, chopped

1 red pepper, chopped (This will add a nice fresh sweet bite.)

1 T olive oil (I always use EVOO)

1 pound ground beef

1 pound sirloin chunks (I usually purchase the packaged beef meant for stews and cut the pieces in half.)

1 (15 oz.) can tomato sauce

1 (6 oz.) can tomato paste

2 1/2 cups water

6  T chili powder (Penzey’s is the best and they offer all levels of heat.)

salt

pepper

1 t. baking soda

chocolate (I will explain)

1 (16 oz.) can red kidney beans, undrained

Condiments: I don’t need to tell you what tastes good on your chili … I can eat it right out of the pan with nothing or smother it with cheddar cheese and scoop it with saltines!

Once you’ve prepped all of that you’ll want to stop and enjoy a refreshing cocktail because you just chopped and minced your way into deserving a break!  I use one of my largest pots for chili because I like to see eveything that’s going on in the pan while it’s coming together.  So pour your olive oil in the pan and saute all of your veggies until they’re tender.

Some people will advise you to brown your meat with your veggies, but I cringe at the loss of flavor when you drain off the excess fat from the meat.  I’m convinced you’ll lose the vegetable goodness.  So, empty your veggies into a heat safe bowl and set aside while you brown the meat.  I let the cubed steak get a head start and then I add the ground beef.  Drain off excess fat.

Combine your meat and veggies, let them communicate with one another for a minute or two and then add your chli powder.  Adding your powder now is a little unconventional, but the meat and veggies will absorb the heat and flavor of the powder much more than just flavoring the sauce.  When the mixture looks a little pasty add your tomoato sauce, paste, and water.  Bring to a simmer.

Add salt and pepper to taste.  Add baking soda to stablize the acidity of the tomato products.  If you have chocolate in the house, be it chips or a candy bar (plain chocolate, roughly chopped) throw a handful in the pan … you’ll just have to trust me on this … you will not make your chili taste like candy … as a matter of fact, my husband never knew I added chocolate to my tomato based sauces until he caught me in the act … it will enhance the many flavors brewing in this savory dish.

This needs to simmer and fill your house with wonderful aromas for at least an hour and a half.  I have been known to let my chili cook all afternoon – you would just need to add water periodically and stir often.  The truth is your chili improves with age … much like a good woman.

You’ll want to add your beans about 15 minutes before you’re ready to serve the chili.

Enjoy!  I know you will!