Home Cooked Thoughts

Have you ever wanted to keep in touch with someone so badly that you thought of them almost every day?  You wanted to call but because you wanted to dedicate significant time to the call, you waited.  Then it seemed as if you had waited too long and you would need even more time to call.  Suddenly you had waited so long you were embarrassed about not keeping in touch.  Now your guilt has built up and you won’t call because you feel so bad and you’re sure the person isn’t interested in keeping in touch either?

The story of my life and friendships!  There are so many people I have known throughout the years whom I should have kept in frequent communication, but I am a social slacker.  It’s true.  And I’m not the only one out there.  I can’t be.  Otherwise, all of those people would have kept up with me.

I used to try and blame my lack of building solid communicating friendships on the fact that my family moved so frequently when I was very young, but having lived in the same city for over 20 years has put quite a damper on that excuse.  I have a friend I met freshmen year of high school who I love dearly and I try to think we include each other in the milestones of our lives, but we talk rarely.  When we do get together we talk to each other with such voracity that you wouldn’t know anyone else in the world existed during that short period of time.  Perhaps if we cut our conversations shorter and more frequently we wouldn’t feel the need to douse our appetites with such strong emphasis when we meet.

Then there’s the group of people with whom I email.  Email has changed the scope of relationships for me.  Now I have an outlet to occasionally say, “Sorry I haven’t called,” or “I miss you.”  But typing those words still doesn’t prompt the ability to pick up the phone, push seven digits (or maybe ten), and have a brief conversation about each other.  I am baffled by this.  Through the computer we’ll share pictures, life updates, emoticon smiles, and sometimes even fears and downfalls, but I haven’t heard those people’s voices in quite some time.  And I’d like to.

I have even tried to excuse myself from too much guilt because I have such strong bonds with my large family, but even that’s a crock!  I have my parents and my sister who I speak to daily while I keep in touch with everyone else through them.  Is it possible I am a social slacker within the confines of my own flesh and blood?!

What will become of me?!  I have a problem.  I could go about dealing with this as if it were a form of addiction and the first step is admitting I have a problem.  My real problem will begin when I approach the step in which I am supposed to “make right with those I have wronged.”  Uh-oh . . . that will entail lots of phone calls . . . I just don’t think I have time for that!

Maybe if I carried cards in my purse, similar to business cards, that announced my status of social slacker and when I meet someone I would like to remain friends with I simply give them the card.  It will have all of my contact info and now it will be their responsibility to keep in touch with me.  That doesn’t seem fair though.

Maybe I should start a website dedicated to the social slacker.  It can pair up the socially adept folks with those of us that can’t seem to get it right.  I could call it Butterflies & Worms.  The slogan could be, “Pulling the social underground into flight!”  Okay . . . over time I could come up wwith something better, but I’m convinced it’s a good idea.

The bottom line . . . for those of you who I should be calling and keeping in touch with . . . sorry I haven’t called and miss you . . . maybe you should call me!