God was kind enough to bless us with another little boy, someone for Benjamin to play with, terrorize, and hopefully befriend for life.  Poor Charlie, at only 12 days old, has already endured finger poking, bassinet shaking, shared lunch attempts, screaming fits throughout naps, and the constant stealing of his first stuffed animal.  He has also been treated to numerous hugs and occasional petting.

I had my worries and doubts about bringing a second child into this world … all due to my insane ability to over-think everything.  I thought that surely Benjamin would be jealous, so jealous in fact that he would hate us for bringing home another child.  I was convinced I hadn’t had enough time alone with Benjamin in this world and how could he possibly adjust to not having 100% of our time.  And my biggest fear was that I could never love another child the way I love Benjamin.

What an idiot I am!!  All of these things have proven to be hugely inaccurate.  Not a split second went by after the doctor removed Charlie from me before I was instantly sobbing – overwhelmed with love (and relief that it was a boy!).  I think I smothered his face with so many kisses before they whisked him away to the nursery – he was sure to know who mommy was.  And Benjamin … well, Ben took his time coming around, but once he did … he’s been a loving big brother who has not only watched out for little brother but also reassured Charlie that with all that love will come some torture as well.

And ironically, with all this extra love I’ve been pouring out to my two little boys, I have found myself loving my husband more than ever before (even with the hormonal imbalances).

I know this next year is going to be a difficult one, but it’s amazing how strong we can be when we have no other choice!  I am so grateful to be the only girl in the house, and in full wonderment at the capacity of love we humans have!  God is good!

Benjamin David has turned 1.  I am both thrilled and saddened by this rite of passage.  There is the accomplished mommy in me who feels a strong sense of pride at having helped her little “punkin” grow to the walking, running, playing, “munchkin” status.  And then the mourning mommy who is befuddled over the quickness that overtook the growth process of this long anticipated little being.  My mother accused me of suffering delayed postpartum … she may have a point, but thankfully I am recovering quickly.

Having realized how quickly the first year flies, I am fearful of the next years also flying.  There are people who feel implored to share statements like, “Just wait, he’ll be graduating high school in no time.”  Really?! Is it absolutely necessary to burst the bubble of a woman who still considers herself a new mom?!  Must you rain on the parade of a woman who still refers to books to find the best daytime routines and meal plans?!  To force someone like me to consider which college would be best for my one year old is just downright heinous!  I have no internal desire to envision my barely speaking toddler escorting some floozy to the prom … I’m still ecstatic that he signed ‘please’ this morning.

Having fully expressed my distaste for such bubble-bursters, I would again like to impress my great appreciation for the short times when my “munchkin” stops, lays down, and cuddles with me … letting me know that the rest of the day may fly by, but he too appreciates the slow comfortable gift that is relaxation. 

Ben Chillin' in the Pool

Every now and then my son and/or his cousins create picturesque opportunities that must be shared … yesterday was no exception.  My sister and I opted for a pool day at grandma’s house so we met up before lunch, fed the boys, slathered everyone with sunblock, grabbed grandma, and headed for the pool.  I had wanted to get a head start so Ben could play before his usual nap-time at 3.  We arrived at the pool shortly after 2 so I assumed there would be plenty of time for Ben to enjoy the water before wanting to sleep.

As you can see from the picture … I couldn’t have been more wrong.  Ben wanted to sleep right away and his cousin, Aidan, had the same idea.  So, Leandra and I walked around the pool, occasionally playing with Brandon, while the boys lounged on their floats and slept the afternoon away.  They eventually woke up and enjoyed some playtime … lots actually … but I have to say … wouldn’t it be nice to have no cares and be able to relax like them?!

Aidan Relaxin' in Pool